Sweet Zoë

These are the last pictures we took of Zoë. They were taken on Jan. 19 and 20. I downloaded them from the camera weeks ago, but just hadn’t gotten around to adding them. I’ll move them to the gallery in a few days.

When Shannon started cleaning her mouth with that bit of gauze dampened with sterile water, she tried to suck on it (I went and bought her a NICU pacifier the next day, but it wouldn’t fit between the sides of the logan’s bow holding her breathing tube so she never got to try it). Her O2 stats went up and her heart rate leveled off nicely. She may have fussed when others “messed” with her, but not when her Daddy did. Then, when he wrapped his hand around her whole torso…that came in a close second to the effect of my holding her. All of her alarms stopped going off, she closed her eyes and went right to sleep. She loved having him around. Even the sound of his voice had a calming effect on her.

That’s my mama’s hand on my back

Daddy’s hand is big and strong and safe

I can almost see you!

I have set up a memorial fund with Cook Children’s Hospital on behalf of Lennox and Zoë. All donations made in their names will go towards neonatal research. If you wish to make a donation, you may either:

mail it to:
Cook Children’s Hospital
Attn. Development Office
801 7th Ave
Fort Worth, TX 76104

or
go to CookChildrens.org

Please be sure to indicate that you are donating in memory of Lennox and Zoë Simpson of Fort Worth, Texas 76120. My name is Allison Simpson (I believe the online form will want that information). Cook will send us a notification of your donation and a recognition to you.

I have contacted the Red Cross to see about establishing some sort of memorial blood donation “fund” as well. In the meantime, those in North Texas can still make donations through Charter as listed in the sidebar. *Update* The Red Cross does not have a method for the sort of memorial donations we have in mind.  We could sponsor a drive in their memory, but that would still be something local.  If donating blood is something you are interested in doing, either email me (allisonwonderland at gmail dot com) or post here when you do and I’ll create a list to acknowledge the donation.  

I’ve added links to the March of Dimes to the sidebar as well. Donations can be made in memory of Lennox or Zoë.

Shannon and I thank all of you in advance. Nothing will ever take away this pain, but to know that some good is being done in Lennox and Zoë’s names is a huge comfort to us.

Our sweet Zoë is home now. Her daddy and I brought her home Saturday, on a beautiful, warm and sunny day, not unlike the day in April on which we would have been bringing her and Lennox home, had things gone oh so differently.

A very dear friend wrote this poem for Zoë when we lost Lennox. At the time, I didn’t want to post it because I needed to focus on her so much that I had to wall off a lot of my grief for Lennox and part of that meant hiding away the things that reminded me of him. It’s such a lovely tribute to him, though, that I wanted to share it.

Two Souls, One Heart (Zoe’s Loss)

You gave yourself so I could thrive,
Through me you’ll always be alive,
What was for you an end, for me a start,
I guess we’re two souls in one beating heart.

You didn’t stay long by my side,
For each moment lost, tears were cried,
But still, I know we’ll never be apart,
Because we’re two souls in one beating heart.

The years will pass without you here,
I may forget you through the years,
But I’ll feel you brother, my missing part,
Forever two souls in one beating heart.